HOW TOesday: Have a Blissful Marriage for Many Years

Because we're coming up on our one-year anniversary in a couple of weeks, it's clear that Evan and I have really figured out the secret to a strong marriage. And because you've been such good, loyal readers lately, I've decided to start sharing these secrets with you so that you, too, can live a perfect, happy life.

Step One: Help each other, even with chores that aren't obviously yours.

In other words, wives don't have to do all the wife chores and husbands don't have to do all the husband chores. For example, just this past weekend our dear Evanshine did several loads of laundry because he's highly evolved and I did some yard work because I am too. Now, let's not get crazy and imagine me mowing the lawn or sawing up fallen tree trucks (for the record, neither one of us does that), but I did just plant an entire vegetable garden (or three tomato plants and four tiny okras) and all of the flower pots on our front AND back porches. Now that I type that out, I'm not so sure that planting flowers is a "husband chore," but you get the drift. I was working the land and that's a man thing.

Step Two: Don't kill each other when you screw up your nontraditional chores.

As I was laying around and watching Grey's Anatomy being helpful around the house this Sunday afternoon, Evan appeared in front of me.

"Allie, over by the driveway was looking really bad. I pulled a bunch of weeds over there. Go check it out."

Poor Evan is just emerging from a two-week-long stiff-neck situation, so being able to pull weeds was a big deal. I walked around to the flowerbed he was talking about, fully prepared to be amazed by his yard work prowess. There were quite a few weeds and an empty spot beside the wire support that I use to hold up my peonies every year.

"Where are my peonies?"

"Uhh... Those weeds?"

"Not weeds. Peonies."

"No, those were weeds. They're in the trash."

And there they were, wilting away on top of an empty case of Diet Mountain Dew, may they rest in peace.

Instead of murdering Evan, like I was fully entitled to do, I let him off the hook with just a promise to find me a new peony plant for the side of the house. And that is why we are going to live happily ever after.