My belly is full and the kitchen is cleaned up after my brother and Evan and I hosted what will probably go down in history as the best Mother's Day brunch of all time. I have found myself sitting on the patio looking through iPhoto just to remind myself how beautiful as I am, as I usually do on Sunday afternoons (just kidding) (or am I?).
However, in my quest for beautiful photos of myself, I accidentally came across this photo from a few years ago --
-- and was reminded that I am incredibly awkward. (But great at fishing and zipping jackets all the way up, huh? Check out my enormous catch! Never mind that our fishing guide had to get it off the hook for me because it was gross.) However, in the true spirit of Mother's Day, I decided that this is entirely my mother's fault.
We have a little family tradition where we bring framed awkward photos of my mom to our family Christmas gift exchange. (When I type it out, it seems strange… do any of your families do this, dear readers?) These photos always are the hot ticket item in our White Elephant exchange -- for good reason. My mom is the queen of the awkward photo. In honor of Mother's Day, I've decided to share with you the Top 20 (sorry, I just couldn't stop at 10. There were too many.) awkward photos of my wonderful mother. In no particular order …
It all started at a young age. I have no idea who the tiny woman or tiny poodle in this photo are, but check out my mom's stance, knee socks, and romper. She's wondering, "I wonder if I step off the porch, will we be the same height?"
These two dresses were worn to actual high school dances by my mother, an actual high school student, and sewn by my grandmother. I am told they were very stylish at this point in time. In both of the above photos, my mom is thinking, "I am a babe." And she was right.
We were on vacation having bloody marys by the ocean, and my mom was cold. She is thinking, "I wish I had driven my car so I could use the towels I use as floor mats as a blanket."
"Pleeeease, can I spell 'cotton' with an I?"
"Someone blow on that wind chime to accompany me as I sing you this song whilst holding this pink flower. Good thing I did my vocal exercises this morning."
"WHY did I get a spray tan? How long will it take my hands to go from orange back to skin-colored?"
"Love that tequila burn."
"The best Christmas gift I've ever gotten. Can't wait to get some reps in the backyard tonight."
"Is this out of style? Found it in my closet."
"Let's measure this house and buy some furniture!" (Thanks for helping me get my house in order, Mom!)
"Shoot. Did I forget one of my pieces of Christmas flare?"
"This electric slide is not as hard as I thought it was going to be. Is it bad form to be the BEST DANCER AT THE WEDDING?"
"These are my two best friends! I like to pick short friends so that I can dominate them!"
(No, seriously. That's a direct quote from my mom at her 30th anniversary party.)
"I'm too fast for your camera."
"I LOVE RIDING 4-WHEELERS! This helmet brings out the blue in my eyes!"
"Bet you didn't see me behind you. My safari hat helps me blend in."
"Daggone. No reception up here. Time to go home."
"God, I love to dance."
"This pose looked so much less awkward on Pinterest…"
And that'll do it! In addition to being the most awkward, my mom is also the most wonderful mom out there. Happy Mother's Day!
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