Today, I'm Thankful For...

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! I've spent the morning slaving away over a corn pudding recipe (by the way, multiplying a recipe that serves eight by three is a little difficult at 8 am, in case you haven't tried that yet), and now I've got to find the perfect pair of stretch pants to head over to my parents' house to gobble gobble. I'm afraid I haven't followed the trend of listing everything I'm grateful for for the last 27 days, so in hopes of making up for that, here are the top three things I'm thankful for this year:

1. I'm thankful for the millions of dollars I have in the bank.
2. I'm thankful for my mansion.
3. I'm thankful that I have a Lexus, because they are the safest cars ever made, and it's important to be safe at this time of year.

... Just kidding. I don't have any of those things. But don't some of the "I'm thankful for..." statuses you see on Facebook make you feel jealous like those three did? Well stop your worrying, folks, because the three things I'm truly thankful for won't make you jealous at all.

1. Robitussen PM, Robitussen daytime, Tylenol Cold pills, and cough drops. This time last week I was just coming down with the self-diagnosed cat scratch fever.

Probably caught it from Mabes. I was worried I'd be banished from this year's festivities because of my gross cough and runny nose. But thanks to the miracle drugs listed above, the fangs have gone away and I am healthy as a horse. Plus I have a nice healthy appetite to stuff myself with as many mashed potatoes as possible. I hope whoever made the taters this year bought in bulk.

2. Evanshine's beard is starting to itch. Haha! Evanshine's version of No-shave November may just be coming to a close.

3. Mabel doesn't seem to have peed on anything for the last two months. That's what it's all about, folks.

Well, I hope you are all with your families, friends or dear pets, packing on the pounds today. If you don't over-indulge on Thanksgiving, how are you going to resolve to lose weight in January? 

I hope by the time you read this, you're all looking like this:

And in honor of this joyous occasion, I leave you with some poetry:

I'm happy on Thanksgiving Day,

I've eaten till I'm sore! 

I wish I were an elephant, 

So I could eat some more!