Guest Post: Weekend Recap by Mabel Buckley

Hello again, friends. I am back and you are welcome.

I come with tales of the weekend past, because I hear weekend recap posts are very popular in the blog-o-sphere and, let’s face it, Allison’s blog needs all the help it can get. So, what did I do this weekend? Entertain yourself on Facebook or Twitter or something while I consult my Day Planner since I haven’t fully grasped the concept of breaking life down into “days.”

OK, I’m back. This weekend was especially glorious for me, because the humans went somewhere on Thursday night and left me with some much-needed peace and quiet for the whole weekend. I used this peace and quiet very well.

First, took a bunch of selfies. #HOTTIE #AMIRIGHT?



#DUCK FACE



ME HUNGEE



#THOUGHTS



#STARIN OFF INTO SPACE...THE FUTURE IS SO BRIGHT, I NEED SUNGLASSES.

 

JUST BEIN SHY



OH THERE YOU ARE. #WELL HELLO

 

#CAT #CATS #ILOVECATS

Next, I mowed down (pop culture reference that you are probably too old and out of touch to understand) on some delicious #WET FOOD.
 

 

#NOMNOMNOM #FOODIE

#IUSEDTHENICEPLATESSINCETHEHUMANSWEREGONE

#ANDILEFTTHEMDIRTYINTHESINK

Don't worry, I ate dry food too. #PIGGIE #ICANTSTOP #IWONTSTOP

Updated my Facebook frequently and using all the tips of the trade I’ve picked up in the last two weeks of Facebook activity. I now have 33 friends, and I’m thinking about joining some new groups to meet friends online. The real life people I know just aren’t cutting it lately.

Oh yeah, I started an online business this weekend. Etsy may be the rage right now, but my homespun treasures come in the form of online "What Kind of Cat are You?" personality quizzes. If you want one, add me on Facebook: Mabel Buckley. Obviously I took Evan's name when Allison got married. I never liked her anyway.

 

I had quite a bit of response my first week of work, but I'm still trying to collect on a few accounts receivable. #DEADBEATS #MOMONEYMOPROBLEMS

Then I had a friend over to take some more shots of myself.

 

 

#MOREOFMETOLOVE #IT’SNOTAFATPOUCH,IT’SPRIMORDIAL
#KIMKKAT

Of course Allison and Evan came home earlier than expected on Sunday, saying it was Evan’s “birthday.” I had totally forgotten about that but luckily I’d already thrown up a hairball on the entryway rug so I just told Evan that was what I got him. #HOMEMADE

I guess that was it. When I started this post I honestly thought I had done more, but now that I think about it, I did just kind of use this weekend to relax, unplug myself from technology, and just veg a little. Hope you spent your time as wisely as I did.

HOW TOesday: Facebook Etiquette for Newbies (Guest Post by Mabel Buckley)

Hello there, readers. (I doubt there are any). Mabel here. You may have heard about me before on this blog, though I can promise you that any stories Allison has told about me destroying things, being rude, peeing on stuff, etc. are absolutely false and fabricated by a pathetic human in a sad attempt to get sympathy from the Internet. GET SOME REAL LIFE FRIENDS, ALLISON.

Anyhoo, you may or may not be aware that I recently joined Facebook. I’ve heard quite a bit about it lately, and was wondering WHETHER ANY OF MY FRIEND OR FAMILY KNEW WHAT IT WAS. Well, being the innovative cat that I am I joined, and it’s just as glorious as the commercials suggest.  The things that connect you humans connect us cats too.

I have noticed that there seems to be a little bit of confusion as to how to behave on Facebook.  I’m here to “shed” (HA, CAT JOKE) a little light on the subject with a short list of “Must-Dos.”

1. TO BE SURE THAT YOU GET YOUR POINT ACROSS, MAY I SUGGEST ALL CAPS?

It’s a proven fact that no one reads posts on Facebook if you’re writing in lowercase letters. Might as well call them invisible letters, because that’s how much people are going to look at them. Not at all.

 

See what I did there? As you’re scrolling through your newsfeed, you can’t help but notice that I (1) am bummed out that it’s Monday, and (2) tricked my roomies into thinking I was dying this morning. It’s undeniable that #2 is hilarious, so you’re welcome for posting. Just think, if I’d written in invisible letters, you never would have seen it. 

2. IF IT’S A MEDICAL, EMBARRASSING, OR JUST PLAIN GROSS CONFESSION, PLEASE POST IMMEDIATELY.

 

 

Some might be ashamed to admit that they are under the care of a psychiatrist, but I ain’t ashamed. I REPRESENT the problem of cat anxiety to all those I meet (not that I meet many … my anxiety really is crippling and I spend most of my time under the bed when my roomies have friends over).

You probably notice that I didn’t just post about my anxiety for the sake of posting, but I disguised it as a complaint about the rising price of healthcare. That’s a Facebook favorite these days. THANKS, OBAMA.

 

 

Also, if you’re confused about how your medical history may affect your everyday life, ASK YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS. You’ll be amazed at the wealth of information your FB friends can provide.

3. COMPLAINTS IN DISGUISE ALWAYS GET THE MOST FEEDBACK.

 

It’s no secret that I hate everybody. EVERYBODY. (Yes, you too, Evanshine). It’s really fun to publicize this repeatedly, though.

4. ESPECIALLY COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS.

 

 

See? I like to make a complaint with just enough detail that the one I am complaining about immediately recognizes it. (AHEM, ALLISON). Then, if your friends ask what’s up, as they should, you can explain in even MORE detail. Good things come to those who READ THE COMMENTS.

5. IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF CURRENT EVENTS, FACEBOOK > GOOGLE.

 

I don’t read the paper, or watch the news. Obviously. I am busy enough napping in the sun all day. So when I hear a little snippet of a current event, I just post on FB and usually someone can help me out. I trust my friends’ summaries of the news more than I trust the News itself.

6. YOU SIMPLY CANNOT GO WRONG WITH A SELFIE.

 

Even if it makes you look fat.

 

You're welcome, friends. Now leave me some love in the comments section (which Allison finally figured out how to use, so you should be able to actually leave a comment now), or email me at mabelthecatbuckley@gmail.com. (I am pretty bad about checking my email, though, so be warned).

Meow-wy Christmas from Mabel, Guest Blogger Extraordinaire

With the holidays coming up, I’ve decided to take the day off from blogging. I’ve got a lot of Christmas shopping and baking and wrapping to do. I know how many loyal readers out there get upset when I am not available online … so I’ve asked my best friend, Mabel, to step in as a guest blogger. I hope you all are preparing for a MEOW-wy Christmas this year! 

---

Of course she did. I would have bet you $100 that the Lady ended her introduction with some play on “meow.” She is truly predictable, just like this blog. I’m just shocked that she didn’t find a way to mention her beloved Kate Middleton. I’m so glad the Lady had my toenails ripped out of my tender paws at a young age, just because that means I’m not allowed to go outside and be embarrassed by the Lady in front of the neighborhood cats.

Well, if you want my real feelings, I must first say that my Christmas season has not been very “meow-wy” so far. Gross. I’m sorry about that ridiculous pun. The Lady’s wearing off on me. I also must say I’m not sure where she gets off, telling you I’m her “best friend.” This is the same lady who dresses me in an embarrassing elf t-shirt at Christmastime, discusses my most personal problems and medications on the World Wide Web (are they still calling it that these days?) and finds it hilarious that I may have been (mistakenly, by a new vet that I believe may be afraid of cats) diagnosed with Herpes. And she wonders why I won’t wear my half of the BFF necklace she bought us.

Anyhoo, for some reason, the Lady and Man brought me home a giant tree this year. I love it, which is really saying something, since I hate most things and people. To further please me, they hung cat toys all over the tree and placed a giant water bowl at the base, and I LOVE IT. I spend most of my time under the tree staring up at its glorious branches, or peering on its beauty from afar.

I haven’t decided if I’ll try to climb it or not; I’m generally exercise-averse, but the thought of ruining the Lady’s day by knocking it over and hopefully breaking some of their toys does excite me. However, I would run the risk of them getting rid of the tree, which would ultimately hurt me. So I haven’t decided my plan.

But, being the Lady, she of course put the tree in the most inconvenient spot: directly in front of my window, and she took my chair and stuck it in the office. This is complete BS. They leave me at home all day with nothing to do but look out the window, then they take away the only way I can actually get to the window. Typical.

Also, after they noticed that I enjoy spending time under the tree, they started putting random boxes under it and taking up my space. I demanded that they move them, and they cleared me out a little empty spot to enjoy myself in, but the whole thing is just so predictable. They see I like something, and they take it away. I would run away, if they hadn’t taken my claws, deprived me of any real cat skills, and injected a tracker under my fur.

Well, I’ve had enough of this “blogging.” It seems to take up quite a bit of the Lady’s time, so I thought it would be more enjoyable. I guess I was wrong, just like she was when she recently told someone I haven’t been peeing on stuff lately. Sucker!

Back to staring off into space.

 xoxo

P.S. I hate the Ugly Angel.